Lately I’ve been twisting in the wind over my photography. All aspects of it. Why do I do it? What good does it do? Is it good? Is it mediocre? Is it bad? Do I have a style? Am I a cliche? Should I try to market my images? Who would buy them anyway? Everyone and their brother is a ‘professional photographer’. Why do I maintain this blog when almost no one reads it? Should I change it? What should I change it to? All whirling around my head…
In spite of it all I went out. I LOVE being out. I can hardly describe it. The things around me astound me.
I’m so conflicted about what I want to do and whether I have the will to do it, never mind the talent. When I get outside though, that falls away. I feel peace. Connection. My mind lets go of worry.
I’m at a crossroads and in a rock and a hard place. Things are complicated. My life does not please me. I feel trapped by it. The longer it lasts, the worse it gets. The futility sneaks up on me and traps me in indecision. Oh how I wish all could be outside.
I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I for one love looking at your photos, but so what? It’s not about me or whether I (or anyone) thinks that you are good. it’s about the shooting.
I know exactly how you feel as I’ve had many similar thoughts. I am slowly learning that I shoot for me. I go out for me. I share for me. If a thousand people read my blog or see my images or if no one reads my blog or sees my images it doesn’t matter. I had to create it and I am satisfied in the creation.
Keep going. Your photographs are beautiful. I’m envious of the macro abilities of your camera/lenses. I have a cheap digital camera – I don’t entirely trust it; the first one I had died quickly. I get frustrated by my limits and the limits of the camera, but every time I take a picture, I see something I wouldn’t have seen otherwise. Above all, that makes it worth it.
So far, for what I’ve seen, you take great photos… and besides if you like going out and YOU like your who cares what other people and their brothers think, still, if they’r not on your blog they’re stuck in your hard drive and this way you get me and the people writing these comments and the one’s that come here and are not patient enough to give they’re opinion the pleasure of seeing you’re beautiful photos.
Please keep’em coming
Bruno Oliveira